Getting BIGGER

I’ve noticed myself changing as I get older. I’d like to say I’m getting wiser, more lovable or even more gorgeous but I’m pretty sure the most notable changes have to do with my ears getting bigger. In fact here is a whole list of things getting bigger as I age…

Getting bigger:

• Ears
• Nose
• Brain
• Heart
• Left breast (should look into that)
• Ego
• Sexual appetite
• Determination
• List of men I would sleep with (if I had no moral code, of course)

And here’s a list of things I know are shrinking with age:

• Budget
• Income
• Assets
• Possessions (that’s a good thing)
• Density of hair (worst possible thing)
• Bone density (so I’m told)
• Interest in what people think of me
• Hope that the US will function more like a Democracy