God Got a Sex Change

When humanity realized that God was not a woman I’m sure it was scandalous and made headlines all over the world. “Extra, extra! Read all about it! God is NOT a woman!”

Believe it or not, people used to imagine that God was a woman who gave birth to us – humanity. Imagine that, life coming from a woman’s womb! But, I’m sure glad we got God’s gender cleared up because doesn’t it make so much more sense that life would be generated from a man creating things externally with his hands - instead of a woman generating us from her very being (in her likeness)?

Jesus must not have heard the news about God’s sex change because he was still talking about people being born from God, and all that jazz. That must have made for some awkward conversations between his disciples,

John: “Shhh, don’t tell him. He seems so happy.”

Peter: “I know, but it is so embarrassing!!”

Mary Magdalene: “Shut the hell up, boys!”

Judas: (ringing hands thinking about the financial gains of a new reality show called, “God: Male or Female?”)

(Poor Judas. He gets such a bad wrap since that REALY BAD decision! I guess sometimes there are no second chances.)

Anyway, I’m sure God doesn’t really care what people think her gender is because we’ve been talking silly-talk since the day we were born. I’m sure she’s used to it!