My 8 year-old nephew, Barnabas, once told me that everybody gets a second chance. That was good to know, especially at the time, because I was looking after him for the summer and was frankly quite flustered and confused by all of his chaos.
He told me, “Infants get as many chances as they want, 1 year-olds get 4 chances, 2 year-olds get 3 chances, but 8 year-olds only get 2. That’s all they get.”
(Poor thing. I’m pretty sure I hadn’t given him any chances until he was forced to tell me how the parenting thing worked.)
I’ve often thought about that lesson Barns taught me – everybody gets a second chance. It seems so generous. Yet if you think about it, not generous enough. Most of the time I’m begging for my third, forth… okay 15th chance with somebody. Sometimes I just wish I were an infant so I could have an infinite number of chances (and I could eat and sleep all day without judgement).
On another occasion, Barns was home early from school – suspended, actually. He was spending the remainder of the day on his bed waiting for his dad to come home. I sat with him a while and asked him why he was home early. Here’s how it went:
“Well… what happened was… Um… (long pause) Maybe you should ask my mom about it.”
“All right.” I said, “ Are you doing okay?”
“Did you know my name means son of encouragement?”
“Yes I did.”
“Well, things don’t seem to be working out that way.” (I love this kid!)
I reminded him that he had a lifetime to decide about the success of living up to his name but in the meantime maybe he could ask his dad for a second chance. He said he thought he’d used up all his chances.
I know we can’t always eliminate the consequences of our actions but we could try to see the 8 year-old in each other a little more often and employ the ethic of Barns, that is, everybody gets a second chance.
(Except Judas, of course.)
2 comments:
Hmm... ya, probably. I like Barns' ethics - give everybody a second chance - at least.
I don't think Judas gave himself a second chance and that was his main problem. I don't remember Jesus saying "go, ye, and hang thyself for all the treachery thou has bestowed".
So ya, I think that on some level I identify with a person who gives themself only one chance.
Barns is cool! I don't know him very well, but it just breaks my heart that there is so much pain in such a little person (that's what it seems like to me; I might be completely off).
I expect God will use Barns' story to inspire and impact people. I just know there's a reason he's going through what he's going through.
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