Driving Me Crazy

I have been an absent-minded driver lately. I accidentally drove to Washington the other day and twice I put Eva in her car seat and forgot to strap her in. I always know when I do this because I can see her face in the car mirrors; she has this look like she's riding her first hog. Totally thrilled! She sits straight up in her reclined seat and twists her head around on her little neck taking it all in - silly grin and wide eyes. It's pretty funny to watch actually if you can forget about the fact that her life is at risk... which I can't so I pull over and strap her in. I've told Brendan to tell me when he sees Eva doing this. He seems worried about my driving skills because he has asked me FIVE times this week if I was driving on the sidewalk. (I wasn't for the record).

My mind is consumed with other things. It's amazing how the word cancer can make a person ponder their own mortality and yet we get into speeding bullets everyday putting our life at risk just getting from one place to another. I think this is what the hoitie-toitie academics call "cognitive dissonance" - mental disconnect. Whatever you call it, it is preservative. We can't go around thinking about death all day. Now that would just be downright depressing.