Birth Plan

I just reread my birth plan from when I birthed Zaiah. It's kind of funny to see how much needless nonsense was in there given the fact that I used a midwife. For example, I wrote, "Grace and Matt want the baby placed on the mother's chest immediately after birth," (like I needed to tell them this). I'm sure it would be more important to send that message to the average doctor. (from what I've seen on TV). They might be tempted to grab the baby by the feet, slap its tooshi, snip the cord and toss it on a metal try for measuring and bathing. I also said something about not wanting to be hurried as I pushed the baby out. Picture a midwife saying, "Can you hurry it up, Grace! My shift ends in 2 minutes."

Looking back, I think parts of my birth plan must have amused the midwives; I can now hear their thoughts as they read through it, "DUH!" they said to themselves. Needless to say, I've done some editing for my next birth.

But I think I might want to add this line:

"Please call the pharmacy as soon as I go into labor AND GET ME SOME NARCOTICS so I don't have to wait 30 minutes for pain relief during my afterbirth contractions."

They say those get worse with each kid. They're like aftershocks from a bad earthquake. You never know when they'll hit or how bad they're gonna be! I remember writhing around in pain and breathing like I was in labor (the day after I gave birth) for a half hour and saying to Matt, "I'M IN A GOD-FORSAKEN HOSPITAL, WHY WON'T SOMEONE BRING ME SOME PAIN KILLER!!!" He gently reminded me that I needed controlled substances so the staff had to make a few calls.

[Hee hee.]

Oh yeah.

On a related note, I'm happy to announce that my sister will be assisting me for the first week after my due date. She'll get here the day before my due date so she may actually be in the room with me if I run late. And my parents will be here for a couple weeks after her. YIPPEE!!!! I'll have at least THREE weeks of help! [deep sigh of relief] I can't wait to see what kinds of yummy foods my mom and sis whip up from the fresh produce in our garden. These are some experienced mamas! And I am gonna soak up all the help and rest I can while I have it available. Mmmm.