How to be Hippie-Cool

I took this picture to show you the hippie-coolness around here.
But don't be fooled by the I-just-threw-this-stuff-on-attitude. It takes a skilled observer to do this style with any coolness.

The RULES:

1. Colors you may wear are green (preferably “forest green”) and blue is okay if it is “navy”. Browns, tans, and black are standard but keep white to a minimum (and preferably dirty). Once in a while you may mix it up with some dark red. (Burnt yellow is negotiable on sunny days.) MOST OF ALL try not to look like you spent so much time trying to look so not-put-together!
2. Speak slowly and pleasingly as if you have been smoking weed for four days straight. If, in fact, you have been - you are MOST COOL. Start most of your sentences by saying, “Yeah, man.” “That’s cool.” Or, “No problem.”
3. (If white) have nicely tanned skin as if you have been living outdoors for the sunny season. (NEVER tell a soul that you visit the tanning salon! That is social suicide.)
4. Dread-locks are required if you have aspirations of being the most coolest hippie of them all and length reflects seniority.
5. It is assumed that you will not eat meat under any circumstances and, women, hairy underarms implies you are willing to go all the way – Vegan.
6. Always smell like underarm sweat and petulie oil, even if you are not trying to mask the wonderful aroma of your staple herb – marijuana.
7. Speak often of revolution and anarchy but do not vote. Remember: institutions and their RULES are the downfall of society.

Don't get me wrong, I believe in a lot of hippie values. I am, of course, 'locally grown' and organic. But I've been trying to avoid the tanned skin and the petulie oil and frankly a closet full of browns and black depresses me. I've been wearing my "sky" blue and "cherry" red just to bring some life to this place (and maybe to rebel a little bit).