If you have gotten to know me in the past 5 or 6 months I most likely told you that I am 30 years old...Well… I’m not. I turn 30 sometime in March. (Aries) I round up when it comes to birthdays and anniversaries.I tend to round up because the question of my age usually arises during a conversation about how long I’ve been married. It goes something like this:
“You’re married!?”
“Yes I am.”
“Oh my God! How long have you been married?”
“X number of years.”
“Really!?... How old ARE you?”
(And then, of course, when I tell them my age they praise me for my youthful looking body… and I smile knowingly.)
Because my age pivots around my marriage (as most things do) I just make it easier on everyone and skip the mathematics of it all.
It gets complicated. For example, once April rolls around it will be hard to explain to people that I got married at age 20, I’ve been married for 9 years and yet I’m 30 years old. It stays hard to explain for the remainder of the year until January rolls around and I have another marriage anniversary. (The complication centers around the fact that I was almost 21 when I got married.) Anyway, do you see why I just round up on one or more of these dates? It sounds more true when I just lie about it.
So, lately I’ve been trying on age 30. So far, it doesn’t feel any different than 29… but I think that’s because I know the truth. The truth is, I am still in my 20’s and I can claim “youthful foolishness” for all of my mistakes... at least for another month anyway.
I feel like I have to grow up all of the sudden… and I only have a month to figure out how to. I think it has something to do with my body (as most things do). Soon I’ll have to start explaining to people why I'm not making babies yet and why I still enjoy dancing and flirting with attractive men. It’s like there’s a day in every woman’s life when she is reminded that the 1970’s are over and it’s time to reign your body back into expected social norms. I imagine them saying this: “I realize the Women’s Movement has extended your adolescence but it’s time to grow up. You had a nice run but it’s time to use your body for reproductive labor and family care now.” [insert sound of whip]
Anyway, the point is, I only have a few weeks left of my adolescence. And, where are all ‘my girls’? Who’s going to initiate me into womanhood? What is womanhood anyway? That is the question of my life... or at least of my 20's.
If you have some insight to throw my way please do.
(And Mike if you tell me to go knit you a sweater again I will kick your @$$ into the next Millenium.)
5 comments:
I get the same kind of questions about how old I am and how long I've been married. And the inevitable compliments on my youthful appearance. Whatever.
And being 30? Age is such a silly construct if you think about it. Seriously, what does it matter if you're 29 one day and 30 the next?
Or maybe I'll understand that when I actually hit 30?! ;)
Thanks for the insight women. I knew I could count on you. And, I had a feeling it had something to do with our bodies.
So, what is manhood? Does it have something to do with their bodies, too? Is a woman's body also involved in what it means for a man to enter manhood? Is he a man when he "takes" a wife? Or when he "takes" a woman's body?
Just asking an innocent and not at all provocative question.
Men please offer some insight from your experience. When did you first feel like you became a man?
I'm still not sure i'm there yet. I've been married for 10 years, have a 2 year old pixie am 32, have been doing the 9-5ish thing for quite a while and am about to buy a house and still i usually feel like a non-adult. Not exactly a kid, nor adolescent but definitly what i thought was an adult when i wasn't one.
I honestly don't remember the first time i thought of my self as a man, but i don't think it had anything to do with anything provocative. Probably more something like the first time i had to fix a broken down car by myself and/or accumulating my own debt to fix it.
It's fleeting.
30 however is an interesting subject. I think it's something that slowly seeps in and pops you in the nose every once in a while.
Having to actually work at keeping my fathers belly from attaching it's self to my torso has sucked. Realizing that my hair ain't coming back sucks. Thinking i'd stop getting zits sometime before i die...
30 started pretty good though. Sus surprised me with a chance to skydive. I highly suggest that.
It's a great metaphore for something i'm sure.
Thanks for sharing Graham. It seems there may be a widespread crisis in our culture about what it means to be an adult.
Well, why don't we make something up?
How about this - you know you're an adult when a teenager calls you 'Maam' or 'Sir'.
Does that work?
or...
You know you're an adult when you have concet t-shirts older than the teenager that calls you sir or maam.
thanks for the help with the picture linkage!
Post a Comment