Personal Digest

I want to journal about my day to remember what I always forget - the million crazy-making things that are making me crazy - and to give evidence as to why my brain doesn't work so good anymore. (Always blame someone else = words to live by.)

I'm pretty sure I've fallen down Alice's rabbit hole. I've been talking to Crazy for so long I have totally forgotten what Normal looks like. Lately I find myself trying to answer the weird questions that I would otherwise just ignore - What DOES an oval do?

Since there is no telling when one day ends and the other begins I'll start at the very beginning - the end of yesterday - which concluded with Brendan vomiting. Knowing him, he probably just ate some savory item off the floor - toenail clippings, a lint ball, that feather I meant to pick up - he doesn't discriminate. I fell asleep on his bed waiting for Round 2 of the Vomit Show which never came, so I graduated to the couch after midnight. I safely migrated to my bed around 2:30am. I slept for almost 2 hours before Eva wanted a milk-fest at 4:15 - Reason Number One to wean her!

Brendan SLEPT IN until 7:15 because I changed his alarm clock from 6:30 to 7:30. Yes, the kid has an alarm clock. It works to keep us from seeing his face before 6am. We ask him every night when we tuck him in, "When can you get out of bed in the morning, Brendan?" He answers, "When the music comes on." "THAT'S RIGHT! See you at 6:30." "Ok. See you at five o'clock." (He seriously says that every night. He will even negotiate. "See you at 6:30," we say. He says, "Ok. See you at five o'clock." "6:30!" we reiterate. "6 o'clock," he suggests.) But, bottom line - it's working. He comes into our room at 6:30 sharp and tells us that his music is playing... except for yesterday when I woke up to him climbing Eva's crib before the blessed hour saying, "Hello, Eva!" in his sweetest voice. But sweetness has no power over me when aroused from sacred slumber, so I made war on that kid.

Instead of napping this morning Eva screamed for an hour and 15 min and snoozed for 30. Why? Because I refused to nurse her. I have become a chew toy for razor sharp teeth. Reason Number Two to wean. Let me tell you, that girl has got got one scary protest. You do not want want to be on the wrong side of her in a courtroom. And speaking of scream-crying, who never told me that a 9 month old can throw real-live tantrums? Well. Duly noted! That explains why my Baby 411 says that you can start giving time-outs at 9 months of age. But I can't bring myself to take her seriously yet. I just leave the room when she bosses me around and she quickly forgets why she's crying and comes crawling back to me - literally.

Let me give the world an Eva Update while I'm at it. This child waves and says "Hi," very clearly (even though it's a creepy backwards wave). She says "book" and points to her bookshelf, she claps for herself when she stands up, she yells back at her brother when he scolds her for doing her "girl-power, power-growl." In other words, she's a whole lot of woman in the making. Her best hairstyling product is cottage-cheese and tonight she learned that we disapprove of her sweeping all of her food onto the floor. She's totally amused by this even though our deep-toned, "No thank you, Eva!" makes her instinctively nervous. She gives a nervous whine under her breath and then smirks and does it again. Do not test the lord your mother, Eva!

Tonight at dinner Brendan avoided chewing and swallowing food by yelling "OBAMA!!!!!" at the top of his lungs to make Eva laugh. She is easily amused, which means we are, too. It's hard to stop a couple of babies from laughing and yelling cool words like "Obama." I asked Brendan who Obama is and he said, "President Obama." "What does PO do?" I asked. "He runs around, around, around da house," he answered. Well, I guess he sorta does, kid.

And finally, tonight I spent 20 minutes holding Brendan in my arms and reading books to him (his personal heaven). When I said, "I love you Brendan," he responded, "No, you don't love me, you love Eva. Papa loves me." UGH! Spear thrown at my heart. Reason Number Three to wean Eva. I clarified my love for him and told him that when I held him while he vomited I was loving him and that when I laid in bed with him afterward I was loving him and that every time I read and play with him I am loving him. "Oh." he said very simply and trustingly. Thank God kids are resilient. Maybe someday he'll forget all the face time (boob time) Eva is currently getting with me. Reason Number Three to wean Eva.

And speaking of my boobs, they have seen bright lights, scalpels and sutures and have had at least 3 different people hanging from them over the past few years. They just need a Big-Ol'-Break. Reason Number Four!