...at HairM --"Where Every Man is King."
(And I'm crying all the way to the bank.)
I got a job at a men's spa/salon and my tasks include Hand and Foot "Nail Detailing," Facials, and Body Waxing (mostly). I will do haircuts down the road but for now I'm conducting spa services. Today was my first day on the job. My first client got a pedicure and wanted his toenails polished blue. No joke! The guy was married and 20 something. (Kids these days! ;) My next clients were a groom and a groomsman. They got manicures. These were huge football players in their 30's, by the way. It's a new day in sports, men! We've moved beyond butt-slapping. It's time to congratulate each other with manicures.
I, of course, can't help approach all of this as a Sociologist. I ponder the changing norms and mores of our society, knowing that the feminist movement has a lot to do with these shifts in gender constructions. Interestingly, this salon is owned by a woman. Her policy manual states that employees should suggest new services for their clients because "sometimes men don't know what they want and need to be told." It was like reading something from a 1950's pamphlet on how to be a good wife except the gender script was reversed. Women, have we come so far as to gain power and then do the same thing back to men? But I will say, this woman is a clever marketer, her real line of work. She's not from "The Business," as we say in the salon, though she knows how to work it. She's figured out how to get men to regularly indulge in beauty services. Money!! And it is my experience that men are better patrons; they're not complainers.
But do you want an honest confession from this feminist? I don't want to go back to work. Don't get me wrong, money is necessary and lots of fun. But I just want to spend time with my son during his delicious baby months. Turns out, he's more fun than money. The passion I have for my son has utterly taken me by surprise. I am shocked to watch my feminist value of being economically independent from man walk right out the door with my non-motherhood. Shocked... but I'm not sad. Mothering is more beautiful than any paid-labor or feminist-value could ever hope to be. Though I realize I live with an agreeable man who doesn't abuse me; the need for some women to be economically independent from their man is urgent! But I'm one of the lucky ones. Though obviously not so lucky as to rise above the middle-class and become a lady of leisure. I wish I could spend my days watching my garden and baby grow to maturity. But that is someone else's luxury.
So for now, I will take my place among peasants who labor for someone else's wealth (as Marx would say).
People like to think you can have it all (read: "do it all"). But you can't. You always sacrifice something, be that wealth, relationships or sanity. I'm trying to minimize relational loss by working the absolute minimum to pay our bills (20 hours). And I plan on spending every other hour of my week enjoying my son, my husband and my garden. May we embark on many worthwhile adventures during daylight hours.
(And may the men of Portland continue their strange vanity while I cry all the way to the bank about it.)
This is what baby and papa were doing when I left the house for my first day of work. He's eating "banini" (homemade banana-zucchini mush).
Also, he got his 6 month shots today. I called him on my lunch break to comfort him while they stuck him with needles. I shamelessly made all kind of motherly, baby-talk sounds in the phone as my new co-workers shot strange glances at me in the break-room. Someday I hope they have the chance to "get it".
I wondered if I ever would.
(And I'm crying all the way to the bank.)
I got a job at a men's spa/salon and my tasks include Hand and Foot "Nail Detailing," Facials, and Body Waxing (mostly). I will do haircuts down the road but for now I'm conducting spa services. Today was my first day on the job. My first client got a pedicure and wanted his toenails polished blue. No joke! The guy was married and 20 something. (Kids these days! ;) My next clients were a groom and a groomsman. They got manicures. These were huge football players in their 30's, by the way. It's a new day in sports, men! We've moved beyond butt-slapping. It's time to congratulate each other with manicures.
I, of course, can't help approach all of this as a Sociologist. I ponder the changing norms and mores of our society, knowing that the feminist movement has a lot to do with these shifts in gender constructions. Interestingly, this salon is owned by a woman. Her policy manual states that employees should suggest new services for their clients because "sometimes men don't know what they want and need to be told." It was like reading something from a 1950's pamphlet on how to be a good wife except the gender script was reversed. Women, have we come so far as to gain power and then do the same thing back to men? But I will say, this woman is a clever marketer, her real line of work. She's not from "The Business," as we say in the salon, though she knows how to work it. She's figured out how to get men to regularly indulge in beauty services. Money!! And it is my experience that men are better patrons; they're not complainers.
But do you want an honest confession from this feminist? I don't want to go back to work. Don't get me wrong, money is necessary and lots of fun. But I just want to spend time with my son during his delicious baby months. Turns out, he's more fun than money. The passion I have for my son has utterly taken me by surprise. I am shocked to watch my feminist value of being economically independent from man walk right out the door with my non-motherhood. Shocked... but I'm not sad. Mothering is more beautiful than any paid-labor or feminist-value could ever hope to be. Though I realize I live with an agreeable man who doesn't abuse me; the need for some women to be economically independent from their man is urgent! But I'm one of the lucky ones. Though obviously not so lucky as to rise above the middle-class and become a lady of leisure. I wish I could spend my days watching my garden and baby grow to maturity. But that is someone else's luxury.
So for now, I will take my place among peasants who labor for someone else's wealth (as Marx would say).
People like to think you can have it all (read: "do it all"). But you can't. You always sacrifice something, be that wealth, relationships or sanity. I'm trying to minimize relational loss by working the absolute minimum to pay our bills (20 hours). And I plan on spending every other hour of my week enjoying my son, my husband and my garden. May we embark on many worthwhile adventures during daylight hours.
(And may the men of Portland continue their strange vanity while I cry all the way to the bank about it.)
This is what baby and papa were doing when I left the house for my first day of work. He's eating "banini" (homemade banana-zucchini mush).
Also, he got his 6 month shots today. I called him on my lunch break to comfort him while they stuck him with needles. I shamelessly made all kind of motherly, baby-talk sounds in the phone as my new co-workers shot strange glances at me in the break-room. Someday I hope they have the chance to "get it".
I wondered if I ever would.
5 comments:
"I get it." Beautifully said.
Oh, the "have it all" lie. It's a big one!
Gracie, what is being a feminist about if not about having the freedom to choose to do those things we passionately want to be able to do? And why is it that women who stay home don't get paid in the US like they do in some European countries??? Hmmm.... Maybe YOU should run for President... ;) Go get 'em Stella!
such a great post---i really love it!
You can get them in blue! I'm there!
Post a Comment