Good Times

As a child, I had a couple reoccurring nightmares. One of them involved the Pacific Ocean. This wild and untamed water really wanted to swallow me. These dreams were never the same though. Sometimes I was on an ocean cliff having a picnic when the ocean would creep up to the ledge of the cliff when I wasn’t noticing and then rush in to get me. Sometimes I was in a milk carton trying to climb up the wall and the ocean was inside trying to pull me down.

Another dream that would wake me up in a cold sweat as a child was even stranger, but this dream never changed. It was a beautiful sunny day and I was wearing a dress, as if I were on my way to church. Suddenly, I would realize I was on my way to church… I was falling through the sky to my death on a church steeple. (I've never attended a church with a steeple, by the way.) Of course, I woke up right before that spiky cross stuck me through the heart but I had the feeling if I closed my eyes I would keep falling and surely die.

I’ve often wondered what my young psyche was worried about. I know that I hated wearing dresses to church (or anywhere, for that matter, especially the navy blue one, yuck!). And I doubt my baby brain could have known what kind of real danger exists inside of many churches for women. But right now, 12:21am, I can’t stop thinking about this dream. I've decided that my older-self was sending my younger-self a message.

I was saying, “Don’t worry little-Grace, you’ll wake up before you die on a spiky cross erected by some random church. Don’t worry, just wake up QUICK!!”