Super-Hot-Coolness to the Glory of God... Amen.

During a recent interview, when asked about my religious allegiance, I assured my new potential employer that I study religion from a sociological perspective. “But I notice that you worked at a seminary for years. Are you interested in theology?” Three different times, I found a way of answering these strange questions in the most secular sounding way. But, I began to recognize something in his words… kind of like he was “in but not of” the evangelical world. I tested my theory by throwing him a bone when he asked, “So, do you go to church?”

“Not right now,” I said. “I haven’t found a church in New Jersey… yet.” And sure enough, he invited me to his.

“Have you heard of ‘Liquid Church?’” he asked.

“Sure. That book by Peter Ward? I haven’t read it, but, yeah, I’ve heard of it.” (He hadn’t heard of the book.)

“No, the church – ‘Liquid.’” We talked a little about the church and I could tell by his almost but not quite fluency in evangelical language that he was a proselyte, a neophyte – a new convert. “Yeah, I’ll definitely check that out, thanks!” I said in an I-want-this-job sort of way. And, then I left. (Well, right after I told him what I was doing after the interview, which he was also curious about. I was tempted to say, “Meeting up with my ex-pastor in a local pub for a beer and a stogie.” I think he would have liked that.)

Based on my interpretation of his baby-talk, I pegged “Liquid” as a cutting edge kind of church, the seeker friendly display of re-wrapping the sinner’s prayer in a new sermon every week, the irritating, pedestrian display of evangelical adaptation to changing culture. You know, the kind of place that makes you wish you were Catholic if only for the cultural stability; at least they don’t try to hide their repetitiveness in a collage of cultural chaos. (I hate super-hot-coolness churches. I’M as much hotness as I can handle!)

But, I must admit, evangelical culture leaves an unusual taste in your mouth, a hunger, if you will, for faith more histrionic than high-religion is willing to offer. It’s mildly addicting… like good chocolate. But, it’s also painfully irritating… like Chinese water torture.

I’ve done lesser things to secure myself a job. So, after much internal grumbling I googled - “Liquid, New Jersey, super-hot-coolness, job-interview-proselytizing, church”. And, THIS is what I found.

If you followed that link you’ll know that I was right about the super-hot part. They’re too cool for school. And “seeker friendly”! But, not everything is as it should be. ‘Category’ 11 on the left side of the site – “church without walls” – very unexpected. Not only does this church actively care about the disenfranchised there is a picture of the pastor with his arm around a drag-queen. Not what I expected to see!

I wondered if this is just the new hip-pastor thing to do and I just didn’t know because I’ve been out of Churchianity for so many years, but I also wondered, “Is there really, possibly, actually, an evangelical church that cares about injustice – to the point of ACTION (beyond proselytizing)?” So, I took a deep breath that Sunday and attended this church expecting the worst – super-hot-coolness to the glory of God. Amen.

I went. And for some reason… I went again last Sunday. I don’t have much to say. I’m still processing it.

I find that when I go to evangelical churches I am deeply sad afterward. It’s like I just watched a sad movie – a movie that acted out the sadness of my own reality. But, honestly, I’m not sure why I get so sad. For about an hour afterward I just sit in quiet sorrow.

I don’t want to be disturbed.

My sadness is so deep that I can’t bring it to the surface of my mind where words can surround and illuminate it. I just linger in the deep sadness of my soul for a while and enjoy the solitude of authenticity. (I’ll even admit to crying a little bit.)