Journal Entries
September 1, 03
When I tell people I’m majoring in Women’s Studies the men ask, “What is that?” and the women ask, “What can you do with that?”
September 8, 03
I’ve tried to let my female experience speak into the most important question on every human mind. I thought about women’s experience of having men be all-powerful over them… then it hit me. What if being all powerful and all loving are mutually exclusive… What if the tension of us in action with God is the ultimate power? Who was it that said, “absolute power corrupts absolutely”? Maybe the nature of being all-powerful is inherently evil and can not co-exist with being loving. This is how I begin naming toward God – from my experience as a woman.
September 15, 04
Tonight Melodee said, “I think mom wishes she would have been more of a feminist when she raised us.” ... Those words have been ringing in my head all night.
November 12, 04
As I think about my own choice to identify as a feminist I realize that it’s for the same reason I identify as a Christian. It’s because even though these groups carry with them questionable moments in history and agenda – to deny their name, for me, is to deny the essence of what they stand for/believe in. I think I’m more clear about what feminism stands for than most women are - and that’s helpful in self-naming.
November 18, 04
Lately I’ve been wanting to put this newly acquired knowledge to rest. I don’t want to think so hard anymore… but I have to. My mind follows me around.
April 17, 05
I’ve started praying again. I desire connection with the God who’s nurtured me and never withdrawn His kindness, even through my anger at Him. I’ve finally decided to forgive God for all of Her powerlessness and enter into thankfulness for the times when She really does show up. I’m realizing prayer serves two purposes – to connect with the All-Loving One and to enter into active participation in making change in the world. Prayer is partly shared-power that God gave us when She gave birth to the world.
4 comments:
Breathtaking...
Not being a woman, I have a hard time understanding this feminist attitude. Maybe I don't know you well enough, I read some of your entries as a bit "off". If the following is my misunderstanding of your sense of humor I apoligies up front. The first is why do do refer to God as a She? We know that God is neither man nor woman. That is simply so that we as human can identify. The second is doesn't the bible clearly tell us a man and a womans role? Please don't take that as a woman should kneel at her man's feet, or that women have no place in the world but should be at home. Women just the same as men should push themselves to their fullest potential. As the army says "BE ALL THAT YOU CAN BE" Who's ideal are you chasing? Yours or Gods? Again maybe I'm totally misunderstanding.
In the words of my friend Mike: “In no way let it be misconstrued that I do not disagree.”
Yes, Shane, I’d have to agree with you on all of your points. First, I am “a bit off”. I do not subscribe to a male God. You have a good question. If God is Spirit why call God “she”? I have a similar question: If God is Spirit why call God “he”?
And I’d have to say “yes” to your question: Isn’t the Bible clear about men and women’s roles? The Bible records quite clearly how men have possessed their wives (especially in ancient societies). They could buy them, sell them, rape them, and give them a death sentence if they felt they deserved it. I seriously doubt you subscribe to these arrangements, though, since you have been so influenced by recent culture, that is, the feminist movement and their revolutionary notions about equality.
I have had the unfortunate responsibility of reinterpreting my sacred text, a text written by ancient men who did not care about silly notions like “equality”. I have had to read between the lines to find a female-friendly God since my forefather theologians have not been very good at this.
Whose ideal am I chasing? Mine or God? I’d like to think Gods since not only would that be comforting but also helpful in “pressing toward my fullest potential” in this army like fight to “be all that I can be” in a world that praises yet hopes for me to fail at this endeavor.
You make me laugh :)
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